Mommy Monday: The Summer She Lost Her Mind

I’m a good Mom. Okay, I’m a great Mom.

I do arts and crafts (coloring books with fancy–like sparkly crayons), speak different languages (Dora and NiHo Kailan), discuss and expose my children to the animal kingdom (petting zoos and parks with ducks), eat ethnic foods (buttered Naan a.k.a. “butter sandwich”) and most definitely expose them to culture and the arts (banjo player at a street fair, thank you very much!).

But the Mom Gods have been throwing me curveballs today. And so, I want to give a standing ovation (stand up, dammit!) to my stay at home Mom friends. Not only am I impressed by them but I am also wondering what kind of therapy slash medication they have been relying on.

Today, in Summary. Let’s Run the Numbers:

    72 threats to throw away toys, send them to good children in foreign nations and/ or well behaved neighbors (The pitfall is that now when Parker does something wrong, he makes a request of where it should go, “You give it to Declan?” Uhm, NO. I’m not going to give your toys to your friend–that’s just all my Mommy arsenal had left at that point in the morning.)

    6 brother on sister bullying incidents including one bite.

    5 time outs related to said bullying. 500 tears were shed during these timeouts cumulatively. Only some of those by Mommy herself.

    1 child took a nap (I have two, so that’s bad- especially considering the 10 month old didn’t sleep)

    37 “I want…” related conversations (and only one child can talk).

    1 incident of an entire loaf of bread getting intentionally squished in the grocery store.

    5 miles covered in jogging stroller in an effort not to lose my mind (didn’t really work and very sore now)

    24 trips to the potty seat to pee a thimble worth of toddler pee.

    2 1/2 hours spent in the car looking for an open blueberry farm (apparently farms close on Mondays?). We went to two. More tears resulted.

    9 minutes spent with potty training toddler in porta-potty.

    10 minutes Mommy spent in the corner of the kitchen where no child could see me.

    9 moments of “I don’t think I can take this.”

    0 minutes spent showering

Good night and God help all the crazy mothers who do this 12 months a year.


Mommy Monday: “Where’s Daddy?”

Celia’s first minutes in the world.

Cape Cod Flying a kite, 2011

Daddy and Parker at Gore Mountatin

Fireworks 2012

My husband left on July 7th for about a month. He’s teaching in California in two different colleges: San Diego State University and California Polytechnic State University. We miss him desperately. Face Time has been our lifeline, Parker gets to say good morning and good night to him. But, Parker is definitely affected. He asks for his Daddy ten times a day. When he wakes up, when he goes to sleep, when he gets hurt, when he’s had enough of me. All the time, really. We all miss him, but seeing the kids miss him hurts double:(

In looking for Mommy Monday inspiration, I stumbled upon this blog and fell in love. If Michael was a blogger, he would defintely blog these complaints/rants/jokes about me as a wife. I laughed at the couple of posts I read and thought about how laughing at ourselves is what keeps us:

a. sane

b. from killing each other

c. liking each other (Liking each other, I have learned, is not the same as loving each other)

d. being good parents

So, my shortcut for today is showing gratitude. Gratitude for my husband as a father and central person in my life. Don’t worry, this won’t be THAT gushy, it’s more jokes than mush.

Things My Husband Does to Make My Family’s Life Better:

1. Taught my son that I have a tattoo. Not my favorite thing at first, but when your pants hang down and reveal your lower back and your son says, “Mommy, you have a butt tattoooooooo!”— is there really anything funnier?

2. Taught my son to call his poop “Turd Birds”: With the semi-New Joisey accent that two year olds adopt, Parker actually says the word like, “tawd bawds.” A bonus is that my husband also started showing my son his poop in the hope that it would make him want to go on the potty. Not the case. Now my son asks to see his turd birds at every diaper change.

3. Takes the Kids for Loooooong Walks: He took my son recently on a two mile walk to the town where our camp is. For me, that would be a stressful event. For them, it’s a little QT.

4. Is Uber-Affectionate with his Son and Daughter: My family is full of huggers and kissers. Mike is not as much of a cuddler-kisser-hugger as I am. Imagine my delight to see that he gives the kids sometimes more hugs and kisses than I do. For Parker he has invented the “shaker hug”, “just one kiss” and “wompin” which have all been hits with our little redhead.

5. Is a Teacher, Always: He has taught my son his colors, animals, numbers and letters. A lot of it has been through the use of the Ipad. Parker is just as technological as his Daddy.

6. Makes My Kids Try Different Foods: Mike is relentless in getting the kids to try/like different foods. He likes Parker to put olives on his fingers and eat them and I am sure, with Celia (who appears to be our big eater) he will have her eating oysters, sushi and any ethnic food she can.

7. Daddy’s Eggs: Among many things Michael cooks well, his eggs are the best. You have never had eggs like them. Fluffy, slightly runny scrambled eggs, yum!

8. Makes up Songs for the Every Day: Along with everyone’s favorite, “My Mama Has a Butt Tattoo,” Michael has also made up the songs: “Milka Milka Please” and everyone’s favorite, “Butt Shaker Butt Shaker.” Also, Parker getting pumped up would probably fit in this category.

9. Dances See #8. There are dances that go with each of the above songs.

10. Daddy’s Ability to Document Our Lives: He was quick to bust the video camera out to take a video of Parker’s first steps or when we heard Parker’s first profanity.

We miss you Daddy!