Foodie Friday: You’re such a cheeseball

I created this football shaped cheeseball for a superbowl party. The writing is green food coloring mixed with mayonnaise. We are Eagle fans here at Chez Shortcut Girl.

Ever since I wrote this post, I have been thinking about how many shortcuts I actually glean from from my girlfriends. So today I have for you installment #2 of our “My friends are so awesome they write posts for my blog” series here at Shortcut Girl and I think you will enjoy it. My good friend Arlene passes along her recipe of the best cheeseball you ever did taste. I have made it a couple times myself and it is always a hit. She’s definitely a qualified shortcutter. Have a read. You will love it!

Being my grandmother’s namesake is not a bad thing. However, when that name is Arlene and you can’t find barrettes, pencils, bicycle license plates, etc., with your name on them, you sometimes become bitter about your “old lady” name. As a girl, I wished night after night that I could change my name or that I would develop some cool nickname. Illogically, one of my preferred options was Snowflake. I really, really, really, wanted to change my name to Snowflake. I’m not sure how I thought this would solve the barrette/pencil/bicycle license plate issue, but I knew for certain it was MUCH cooler than Arlene. Fast forward several (*sigh*) Snowflake-free years later, I have an extensive list of nicknames that are both too embarrassing and inappropriate to mention here. Although I made peace with my name several years ago as a tribute to my grandmother, I still love when an opportunity comes along for a new nickname. As of a text I received from my good friend Shortcut Girl at 6:20 this morning requesting this post, I immediately began referring to myself as Shortcut Friend- but you can call me SF for short. (Did you see what I did there?)

I was super-excited when Bridgette asked me if I wanted to contribute to Foodie Friday. I’m pretty sure anyone who knows me would certainly consider me a foodie. I love to cook and am usually pretty successful throwing together dishes that get quickly cleaned out at gatherings and are then requested on later occasions.

So, at her request, here is my contribution to this week’s post: a homemade cheeseball recipe. Yes, you read that right- a homemade cheeseball. This is not an oxymoron and I promise if you give it a try, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

First of all, is cheeseball one word or two? According to spell check, it’s definitely not one word. But I feel it should be, and so it will be for this post.

Secondly, you might wonder, how is it a “shortcut” to make your own cheeseball when they can be so readily purchased at the grocery store? Well, strictly speaking, it isn’t. But seriously, who’s going to be impressed if you come to a party bearing one of those salty, day-glow orange, paste-like consistency balls covered in chewy, half-stale almond slices? I think this homemade version is a shortcut-esque way to throw together a delicious snack with minimal time and effort that is sure to impress. And, if your mindset is bigger is better (men), you can always make the cheeseball as big as the head of a small child. Any appetizer that big is sure to command attention and comments.

“Wow, what’s that?”

“Oh, I just brought a cheeseball.”

“That whole thing is cheese? Whoa!”

“Yeah, it’s great.”

You get the idea.

Here’s the “original” recipe…a friend’s adaptation of another recipe, then adapted by me, then adapted by Shortcut Girl herself. This recipe is your third cousin once removed, but it’s a freaking delicious one at that.

With the potential of countless simple variations, it can be customized to suit anyone’s particular food mood of the day, or even to fit the occasion (such as adding a few drops of green food coloring for a ghoulish looking treat at Halloween).

The Goods:

  • 16 oz. veggie cream cheese
  • 2 cups shredded pepper jack cheese
  • Minced veggies

(Sorry- I don’t have exact amounts, but probably a couple tablespoons or so of each is a good estimate.)

  • green and red bell peppers
  • onions/scallions
  • carrots
  • celery

Season with 4 to 5 shakes of Worcestershire sauce, and a couple dashes of garlic powder and cayenne pepper

I usually mix all the ingredients together, but reserve about a half cup of the cheese. Form the mixture into a ball and then roll it in the reserved cheese. Refrigerate for a half hour or more. I recommend serving it with a variety of crackers. My personal favorites are in the Pepperidge Farm Quartet that includes wheat, toasted sesame, butter, and water crackers. Mmmmmmm.

And that, my friends, is how to jazz up your standard cheese and crackers hors d’oeuvre with a simple hand-crafted cheeseball.

One Final Tip This cheeseball can be particularly satisfying to have on hand when an emergency snacking situation strikes. For instance, spending a girls’ getaway weekend with college friends in a remote ski cottage off season and unsuccessfully making late night calls to pizza places in hopes of convincing them to deliver outside their standard delivery zones. I remember vividly Shortcut Girl trying to bargain with the delivery guys, possibly offering a little help from Thomas Jefferson to change their mind. They just wouldn’t budge. At least we had the cheeseball, and for that, we are eternally grateful.


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