The Desperate Vocabulary of a Parent of a Picky Eater


Recently whle retelling the stories of feeding Parker, it struck me how much nomenclature has entered my family since his fussy eating began. I promise you that we are not the crazy, kid-pleasing parents that this list might paint the picture of. We’re just desperate for our little guy to get something other than Goldfish and Gogurt:)

In adopting this vocabulary, we have wiped away the suggested connotations of other words and kept it close to something he might actually eat. And yes, these words have worked in getting him to try new foods or just have stuck because the family uses them again and again.

We know we are crazy. I’m just letting you into our odd little world. If you are a parent whose kid eats a new food easily and doesn’t blink an eye at its unfamiliar name, count yourself as lucky. Reeeeeeally lucky.

Chocolate logs= breakfast sausage
Green apple= pear
Circle toast= English muffin
Pancake bread= French toast
Sugar juice= the pretend sugar flavoring we say we squirt on each bowl of cereal
Gummy treats= vitamins
Fruit punch= any juice that is not orange juice
Breakfast cupcake= muffin
Santa breakfast= toast with Nutella (emphasizes that we don’t have it all year round)
Christmas milk= Egg nog
Pretzel pillows= peanut butter filled pretzels.
White broccoli= actual broccoli
Long noodle soup= Ramen noodles
Bread roll= a roll
Bread loaf= not sliced bread, something like Italian bread
Long broccoli= asparagus
Naked chicken= chicken that is not a chicken nugget
Toast that is a little yellow but with no butter= toast with butter that is completely melted so you can’t see it.
Cornsicle= Corn you skewer on a fork to make it easier to eat.
Pizza without sauce/ “the bread kind of pizza”= pizza flipped over so you can’t see the sauce.

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