#spreadingmomlove

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Momming is a popular blogging topic these days. Whether it’s this fabulous site or another you enjoy (there’s SO MANY to
choose from!), there’s a lot of good stuff out there discussing the frustrations, the hilarity, the ridiculousness and the moral conundrums of parenting.

And there’s no blog-category I would rather be a part of than the Mommy bloggers. We are a spirited and reflective bunch. And we lift, inspire, support and give each other words to both the brightest and the darkest spots of parenting. The metaphorical full night of uninterrupted sleep as well as the not-so-metaphorical spit up on your shoulder.

We laugh, hiccup cry and smile, so appreciatively, when we read words that only makes us think, “I’m not the only one! Other people think this way!”

I had such a feeling when I read this post. I told my husband a while ago, “The best compliment you can ever give me is to tell me I’m a good Mom.”

And it is.

But, pardon my vanity, why don’t we hear it enough? The internal Mommy voice (headvoice, remember her?) talks to us about whether we are good or not all the time. We question, we wonder, we analyze, we tell friends stories and hope they will laugh instead of judge. But we never say it. To ourselves. To each other. And I think it’s because some of us don’t really believe it.

I am (in?)famous for asking my husband for affirmations. I frequently want to hear I am doing a good job at being a wife and mother. If you buy into the love languages, I am affirmations. Tell me, tell me, tell me what you think about me! I mean, you know that’s why I have a blog, right?

But hearing you are a good Mom is uncharted territory. Because the majority of the “good” you do isn’t on the city street. It isn’t in line at the grocery store or on the at playground. It’s cuddled into a bed with a pile of books at bedtime, at 4 am with a fevered child, it’s in the car when they ask you to sing to them, it’s in the lessons of manners and behavior and kindness and love that you teach them inside the walls of your home that you show yourself– I am a good Mom.

And even though people might see it in your hand-sewn Halloween costume or the way you blow kisses to your child through the window as you wave goodbye to him at day care, you need to know that your good mommy-ness is walking around in that child every day.

We think our good mommy-ness is automatically nixed if the child has a public tantrum or runs away from us into the street. We think because our little ones acted more like wild animals than children at the bookstore that people must be saying, “Wow, that lady has her hands full.” We never think of the positive ways our Good Mommy-ness is emulated. Because, that would mean complimenting ourselves. And we learned a long time ago not to brag, right? Bragging mommies are annoying, overbearing and full of themselves. So we sit in Mommy silence. Just parenting and praying that along the way we did a few things right.

But I am here to tell you, Moms. Your good Mommy-ness is everywhere! It’s in the way they share, the way they love books, the way they don’t tease others they know need a friend. The way they listen and the way they play. They are oozing good Mommy (and Daddy, yes, him too!) every day.

It’s when you are #ninjamommy, #jugglingcircusmommy, #zombiemommy or just #regularoldmommy. It’s when you are worn down, when you perk up, when you collapse on the couch and when you pour the first cup of #mommyenergy for the day.

It’s in everything you do. So tell yourself, tell your friends, tell your own mother especially. “You did/are doing a great job. You should be so proud.”

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