#ninjamommy

20130913-120824.jpg

Who is #ninjamommmy, you ask? Oh, you know her. She’s Shortcut Girl in Mommy form. She has color coordinated outfits, manicured nails, lip gloss that isn’t in her teeth and of course, witty repartee with her friends, husband and colleagues. She doesn’t seem to have bad hair days or bad moods. She is really just nailing life. Like. Nailing. It.

She is the Mom pictured in Parents magazine. She is the wife from that cheeky sitcom. She is the employee that gets mentioned by her boss at the big meeting.

She drives with the windows down, hums pop songs to herself and sips coffee casually. Drive thru coffee, that is. Cause yes, she even has time for drive thru coffee.

There are some weeks none of us can be #ninjamommy. You are a frayed and tattered character they sometimes call #zombiemommy. But every zombiemommy has her days or maybe even weeks of being ninjamommy. And when you do, you just want to brag about it. I usually just get my Mom on the phone, but since well, you are here already reading, I’ll brag to you too.

I have had such a ninjamommy week, I’m shocked at myself. After heading back to work, moving from camp back home and just encountering the craziness that is the back to school rush, I have settled into what I would like to say is my new normal: Ninja normal.

I am witty. I can make up songs on the spot. I can play the cup song from the movie Pitch Perfect and not miss a beat.

I can make a mean bread dip, do some serious damage at Forever 21 and learn all the words to the Bubble Guppies song, “Outside.”

I can sniff out a tantrum 15 minutes away. I know how to name a food so my son will eat it. Want some bullseye cake? (pineapple upside down). How about some orange pudding (sweet potatoes)?

I can mentally plan a two year old’s birthday party while getting my butt kicked at a spin class. I can pack two lunches for 5 days straight that have only about 3% unhealthy food.

I can make my kids clean up their toys, make their own bagel pizzas and drain the bathtub. I can get them to empty the washer while I load the dryer simultaneously.

I can make Dora cupcakes (okay, so they kind of look like Oprah) for preschool after bedtime and bring in donuts for my colleagues the next morning. I can navigate the jam packed aisles of any big box store with the agility of a tiger while also buying and selling three different items on Craig’s list.

Because I am the Queen of Awesome. I am #ninjamommy.

Sleep? Sure, I sleep. But that’s only because sometimes being awesome is so freaking exhausting.

Here’s to all the ninjamommies I know. You’re amazing. You’re awesome. You nailed it. And I noticed.

Leave a Reply